The Tracks
Sarah walks along the tracks, 2009.
KENSINGTON BLUES
January 20, 2012
January 13, 2012
Darlene
Darlene, 2009.
I met Darlene the same afternoon I met Sarah on the corner of Kensington and Harold Street. Sarah and I were in the middle of making a photograph when we saw a young woman running down the Ave hysterically sobbing. Sarah yelled out to her by name but she ran right past us. Sarah ran after her and yelled again, “Darlene, Darlene,” and then the woman turned and stopped. Sarah reminded her that in fact they knew each other and had even been friendly in the past. Sarah had lent her some clothing recently on a cold night. Darlene approached shyly and Sarah put her arms around her and asked what was wrong. Between sobs, Darlene told us a horrific account of how she had just been raped.
Alone and getting high up on the tracks, Darlene had been overtaken by a group of men, was hit over the back of the head and lost consciousness. It was only when she came too that she realized what had happened. In a state of disbelief she got up, ran along the tracks through the weeds and out to the street where Sarah and I spotted her.
At Sarah’s request, Darlene sat down, twisting and turning as she fought off the urge to keep running. She calmed enough to tell us what had happened, and reflected on the violent acts which had occurred just moments ago. With brutal awareness, Darlene admitted that her situation was helpless. Going to the police was not an option she said. She’d been picked up on drug and prostitution charges before and knew that like other prostitutes on the Ave who had been raped, she had zero credibility with the cops and no chance of seeking asylum. They’ll just laugh at me and tell me I got what I deserved, she said.
November 30, 2011
Dennis
Dennis, 2009.
November 29, 2011
Sarah and Dennis
Sarah and Dennis, 2009.
Sarah and Dennis get high on the abandoned tracks above Kensington Avenue. The veins in Sarah’s arms were unable to properly handle the injection, so at her request, Dennis shoots her in the neck.
October 31, 2011
Sarah
Sarah, 2009.
Audio Transcription
Sarah: Will you come and get me either way? You don’t ever answer your phone. How am I gonna know if you’re coming or not? Alright, I’ll call you at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning. Will you answer your phone? Alright, if you don’t hear from me it means I don’t have any change. Will you meet me at Huntingdon and 12th? Well, I mean yes. Alright I’ll call you at ten. If you don’t hear from me pick me up at twelve o’clock at Huntingdon. Alright, make sure you answer your phone. Alright and I’ll see you at twelve. If you don’t hear from me it means I can’t call you and I’ll be waiting for you at 12 and Huntingdon. And I’ll sit there until you get there. I miss you. I want to be able to see you. Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow. Alright, love you too. Bye.
Jeffrey: Who was that?
Sarah: Uh, well my ex. He lets me stay, I don’t have a place to live. I pay people by the night to stay in their house and I haven’t been able to make any money since yesterday and I do Heroin and I’m dope-sick. I’m starving. I don’t have any cigarettes, I don’t have any bus fare to get to Trenton, that’s where he’s at. I’ve been out here on and off for uh 5 years. I’ve been using heroin for 10 years.
Jeffrey: What go your started on Heroin?
Sarah: My daughter’s father left, I went into a major depression stage, and I was almost 300 lbs, I started sniffing cocaine, and then uh somebody said, here try this. And so I started sniffing Heroin. I sniffed for a couple years and then a man shot me up while I was sleeping. So I started shooting up after that. I’ve been shooting ever since. I live day to day, cause I don’t leave money to pay somebody to stay in their house. I stay in an abandoned house or I just stay up for a couple days. Um, I’ll go a couple days without eating. My family, they love me but they can’t do anything for me. I have a 10 year old daughter, matter of fact, that’s my daughter and that’s my niece and um these are two of my four sisters. She’s pregnant and uh she’s the one who my parents- my dad just got laid off, so my parents live with her and my daughter lives her. She’s getting ready to have a baby and there’s no room for me. And I don’t really have any other family so I don’t have anywhere to go. Plus on top of that the fact that I have an addiction makes everything worse cause who wants to help anybody who has an addiction. I’m not a thief. I don’t rob anybody. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to but I just can’t bring myself to do that, you know what I mean. I’m not out here cause I want to be and I certainly don’t enjoy it. Matter of fact this is the worst, loneliest existence that there is in the world. I want to go to detox but I’ve tried with my insurance and they only give you a certain amount of time. And the time it takes, you know, the hour or two it takes to come up with at least like 10 or 20 bucks, you know, to get what you need to get and you have to do it all over again. I do about twelve bags of Heroin a day.
Jeffrey: What do you charge your clients?
Sarah: Anywheres from 25 to, I’ve gotten as much as a hundred bucks but um, I’ve been ripped off, I’ve been robbed, I’ve been raped, I’ve been stuck up, I’ve been gang raped, I’ve had a gun to my head, I’ve had a knife to my neck. I’ve been put out of the car you know, east bumble fuck. Um, I’ve had a lot of stuff happen to me, a lot of bad stuff. It’s by the grace of god I’m still, I don’t have HIV, I get tested every two months. I shoot out bottles, I use brand new needles every time I do. I won’t share needles with anybody. I take precautions, I always use protection. I don’t, certain kind of guys that I date, certain kinda guys I don’t date. I have cirrhosis of the liver and so for me Heroin is more like not a drug but kinda makes me move. Makes me able to go and my body has become so dependant on it that when I tried to detox cold turkey without having anything my body went like flip flop so bad that it almost killed me. So I can’t detox unless I’m in a hospital somewhere. Um, I would love to be able to be clean. I’ve overdosed 9 times. I was actually dead once. They brought me back. I was dead for seven minutes. They, they brought me back. Sometimes I just wish I could just go jump off the bridge. If I had enough nerve I probably would.
There is nothing more real than this situation. Um, standing on the corner selling your ass and everybody knowing what you’re doing is as real as it gets. Um, girls if you are woman enough to get in a car with a strange man, not knowing if its gonna be the last man that you see or the last person you see in life and then somebody comes up to you and say’s, Do you shoot up? And you look at them and you lie and you say, no I don’t do that, I mean, you’re a coward. Because you’re ballsy enough to do what you’re doing, your ballsy enough to give a 10-dollar blow job, you know because your sick, but you’re not ballsy enough to be honest about it, you know.
I look at it like this, I’m taking my life into my own hands every time I do whatever it is I do. I’m humiliated by doing what I do. You know but, unfortunately this is the lifestyle that I chose to lead you know and until I decide to fix it or actually fight to fix it I’m gonna be stuck in this, this hole. You know and it doesn’t matter how your family loves you or who loves you, or how many people want you to get clean. If you don’t love yourself you don’t give a fuck and that’s where I’m at. I just don’t. I don’t care. I have a beautiful daughter. You know, I have a nice family. You know, I wasn’t raised like this. I went to Catholic school my whole life. I was raised with morals and values and like this wasn’t one of them.
September 15, 2011
Sam
Sam, 2009.
Audio Transcription
Sam: Everybody knows me as Sam. That’s my real name. I started this fifteen years ago. Obviously drugs. Heroin. That’s always been my thing. I used to smoke coke back fifteen years ago when it first came out. That’s what turned a lot of the girls out here. And um, it used to be real wild. Like the cops were wild, you know what I mean, they worked with the girls. You could be out here at three o’clock in the morning and the dates would line up in the streets. And you were just making money over fist but you were spending it on drugs. I remember the cops driving around with Kegs in the back of the van, and they would help us out- the girls that were doing the right thing. You know a lot of us just wanted to make our money so we could keep our habit and mind our business, but fifteen years ago a lot of the girls were robbing the guys. And that’s when things started to get bad. And then there were a lot of young girls. Now from here, basically we go around for a minute. If you go up the other way they have pimps, you know it’s a bad scene. I’ve never needed anybody to tell me what to do with my money. But um you know, it’s a rough life. And a lot of the girls they don’t think. They just wanna make that money and they don’t think about what’s gonna happen. You know but you learn as you get older and you start doing this. Now, I left for a while went to Florida and took the habit with me and ended up in prison. Three years, Three years possession, yeah it was crazy. And um came back out and decided I was gonna come back here. Now it’s been all together about 10 years. Now, its calmed down a lot. But the girls look really sick. That Cocaine, it’ll just take you under. It’ll just not make you think about what your doing. Cause you just want the next hit. You’re constantly on the go. With the Heroin it’s not like that, you get your fix and you go in. And your good till the next one. So it’s a lot calmer and you can think better you know what I mean. You really can, believe it or not it makes a difference. So I got off the coke. I’m working on getting off the dope. I’m going up um, as a matter of fact tomorrow at five in the morning I gotta leave and go to Parkside. I don’t know if you heard of it, it’s a methadone program. That’s up on, by across from Fairmount Park on Parkside Avenue. Its just time to stop. You know, and what’s made it really hard is that I’ve met some nice people, who I like; we meet up at the bookstore. And that’s a great place you pay 20 dollars you go in, they have booths, movies, you pay 20 dollars you have a half-hour. Legally you’re allowed to go in there to watch a movie and you can go in with somebody. As long as the bookstore’s not profiting from the women. As long as I’m not giving them money for letting me bring somebody in, the guy has to go in he’s got to pay for the booth and he can bring whoever he wants in, they’ve got nothing to do with that. What happens in the booth between the guy and the girl, that’s between them. And then, they just leave, so they’re really even though they’re aware they’re not aware but they know without us they’re not gonna make no money. Because it’s a lot easier to go in their and do something and pay the 20 dollars than to be in your car getting a blowjob, or trying to get in the back seat, especially in the winter cause I got like layers and layers of clothes on cause its so cold you know.
Most of the men I date are married. They’re over 35, probably over 45. They’re married their wife doesn’t give head or they don’t have a lot of sex and they’re just trying to do their thing and go about their business. They’re not real into the touchy feely wanna kiss. Some guys are, some guys wanna kiss and all that. I don’t really care for that. It’s kinda personal. I don’t like the oral sex on me either. That to me is like, you know cause I don’t have no feeling for you, I can do you with no emotion and its like somebody else. Cause my dates like my body, it’s not me. I don’t let it touch me, it’s an act. You know what I’m saying. But if I have to lay back and you’re all over me, that makes it really uncomfortable you know. You start with the oral sex. You flip over, you hit it from behind and put their condom on, come, you throw everything away, wipe up, by see you in a couple days or whatever and it’s a done dollar. Nobody gets hurt.
Me: How many dates do you average in a day? What’s a good day?
Sam: A good day would be three, cause I charge fifty dollars a date when I go in there. You do have to have money when you go in there cause its twenty for the booth. Most of the men don’t mind paying it if you treat them right. And that’s all they want. They want to feel special, for about fifteen, twenty minutes they want to feel like they’re all that matters. Like what they want is important to you. And you’re gonna make it happen for them with out them feeling like they’re gonna be surrounded or the cops are gonna come or you’re bring them to a secluded place and somebody’s gonna jump out and rob them. They don’t want all that drama. They don’t want have to take you to buy drugs first, take you to a hotel and then you geek out and you don’t want to perform the act, you know they don’t want to go through that. So if they can get a girl that says, come on, lets do this, you know what I mean, what do you need, I got you. And I’m real sweet you know, I’m like real nice cause as long as you pay me I don’t have a problem with what you need. Just pay me, don’t disrespect me. You know I don’t want to be talked to like a nut, you’re not gonna spank me and slap me, and pinch me and all I’m not in to all that, but, but at the same time, they’re feeling nothing but pleasure through the whole thing. They’re feeling wow this girl is paying all attention to me; just by the way she’s doing me. You know what I mean, there is a way to give oral sex and its just, you don’t want it to stop. Then there’s all right, lets get to the sex part cause this aint working. There’s a way to have sex and moan and groan without being hysterical, without hollering like a banshee, you know what I mean. But, where he feels like he’s making you feel good, cause guys get off on that. They’re visual and they hear. So if they can look at your face and you’re kinda licking your lips and mmm, you know, they’re liking that. They’re feeling like they’re doing all that. And at the same time they get off. Business is handled. And the next thing you know they want to see you again.
You know I have a fire chief, and accountant, that I see and a mechanic that I see every week. They call me, they pick me up right near my house, I don’t have to come down to the avenue. And we’ll come up to the bookstore. And I mean they’re excited to see me. You know what I mean; they thought they’re the only on dating me you know what I mean. One likes to do everything. And he just thinks I’m like the sexiest thing you know what I mean. Its almost every day at like 5 o’clock, he’s at the bookstore.
Where else can you go and walk, blend in, its- Kensington’s been known, its on the Internet, its known, it’s the avenue. You can’t really downtown, that’s really a gay scene. Okay, that’s the boys club. You know if you’re going to spruce and locust, it used to be Locust Street but that’s all gay now. Then you got Broad Street but that’s mostly black. So if you want a white girl your gonna come down to the avenue and because everybody knows the avenue, everybody just comes here. And I’ll tell you what, its addictive. I mean I left Florida where it’s beautiful and all to come back to the avenue because this is where I can be me. I can be me, you don’t have to like it but you’re all right with it and you’re gonna be you. You’re gonna ride down and your gonna see girls out here and its not gonna phase you, its part of the norm down here. Cab drivers, dope dealers, hookers and johns. A bar and church on every corner. This is what you’re used to seeing. The avenue will always be.
Now we used to sit on these steps. The bikers would come out. We’d be out her four o’clock in the morning, everybody smoking crack, shooting dope, getting ready to turn tricks. It’s hot out. It’s the middle of July. Where else you gonna be able to just run the street. The cops get to know you and as long as you’re not doing anything they don’t mess with you, the people that mess with you out here is vice.
Me: Is this one of the corners here?
Sam: That’s the bookstore. The famous bookstore. I’ve known them for 15 years. And when they see me they go, Hey Sam where you been? Like cause they didn’t get to see me for a few years cause I went to prison and all and I’m back, they have made money every day cause I have brought somebody in there every day. Sometimes I’ll go in there like when I want to be left alone and I’ll give them 5 dollars and I’ll go up and watch a movie. And just chill for a minute you know what I mean cause I have a headache or whatever. You know what I mean, we’ll sit there we’ll have some drinks, they make drinks in there you know, it they, they know you. There’s a lot of use who’ve been around here a long time. So certain guys that work in there, they might bring a bottle to work with them. So we’ll go in they’ll be like you need a drink, yeah, we’ll have a drink smoke a cigarette, all right see what I can do and go out. They don’t take nothing from us, we don’t owe them anything they don’t ask, they won’t play that game. They don’t even want to hear it. And we that have been around for a while know this. You know the deal when you come through the door. You come in, he comes in, he pays they give the booth your escorted to the booth and handle your business, we don’t wanna know. They don’t say well what did you get twenty, did you get thirty, did you get forty. You know. They don’t say anything like that.
I’ll tell you the saddest part. I would do this without the habit. Which that’s my plan cause its extra money in my pocket. I’m sick of having the habit. You don’t know what its like to go buy a bag of dope, do it, and not get high cause your tolerance is high, just to feel normal. You know what I mean, you’re spending money just to feel normal, you’re not even get- the thrill is gone. I’m forty, You know, I’ve been shooting dope since I was fourteen. The thrill is so gone. But I can’t take being sick, but now I’m thinking you know I’ll get on a program and I’ll make some money on the side and I can use it for other things cause I think I’m just hooked on the whole game of it. You know, it’s the place that I belong. It’s not for everybody but some people look forward to seeing me and I look forward to seeing them. It’s just where I’m known. And when I’m not with them I can be home in my own and just chill. Its like putting on a mask you know I can go out here and be whatever I want to be and then I can go home and just be with me and I’m okay with it. You know I’m just not okay with having the habit anymore. Ain’t that something?
September 13, 2011
Stephanie
Stephanie, 2008.
September 13, 2011
The Ave
Bentley’s Place, Kensington Ave 2009.
September 8, 2011
Carroll
Carroll, 2009.
A few months after first meeting Carroll and Shelly I spot Carroll alone and asleep on the church steps adjacent to the Huntingdon El Station. It’s the middle of the day and Carroll is sleeping like a rock. Carroll often sleeps out in the open during the day as a safety precaution – a bag of her personal belongings tightly grasped in her lap. By making herself vulnerable she finds an odd sort of protection that activist and writer Jane Jacobs referred to as “Eye’s on the Streets” also known as Natural Surveillance. I approach and attempt to talk with her but she is inert, anchored to the steps. A storm is coming so I set up my camera quickly and get off one shot before a downpour hits. When the rain starts Carroll is brought back to life. She slowly gets up and walks under the tracks for shelter.
September 1, 2011
Tic Tac and Tootsie
Tic Tac and Tootsie, 2009.
I met Tic Tac and Tootsie also known as the twins, Carroll (left) and Shelly (right) standing on the corner opposite the Huntingdon Park El Station along Kensington Avenue. At the time I made this photograph, the sisters were 20 years old and had been living on the street for one year.
Extended/Edited Audio Transcript:
Shelly: We barely prostitute, we do it once in a while so we can get somewhere to sleep. We do one a day.
Carroll: We mess around with Zanies, once in a while we do Wet, sometimes we do Percocet’s and that’s about it. We don’t do no hardcore drugs, dope, crack, none of that. We don’t drink… We’ve been out here a year. My dad lives in a halfway house and my mom lives with her boyfriend. She gives us money here and there but we can’t live with her. We’ve been raped, tied up, guys try to say they’re undercover cops… That’s why we stick together cause we try to be there for each other as much as we can… cause without each other I guarantee we would have been dead by now. We wouldn’t have made it this far. We were out all this winter. We had nowhere to live this whole winter and we made it, sleeping out on the street… together. And like… we’re twins but like… I’m the older sister. We’re seven minutes apart but still I feel obligated to take care of her and it hurts me that I can’t provide a house for her and stuff like that. So I try to do the best I can to make sure I get money so she has somewhere to rest her head, food, and stuff like that. No matter what I gotta do, any means necessary.
