KENSINGTON BLUES

Nichol, 2011.

Audio Transcript

JS: What’s your name?

Nichol: Nichol.

JS: How long have you been out here?

Nichol: Like 4 years.

JS: How old are you?

Nichol: 23

JS: Do you use Heroin?

Nichol: Uh huh.

JS: How long have you been using?

Nichol: Like 4 years.

JS: 4 years, so, you’ve been out here for as long as you’ve been using.

Nichol: Mm hmm.

JS: Why did you start using Heroin to begin with?

Nichol: I don’t know, just, just, I wanted too? I don’t know really. Because it was cheaper than pills.

JS: Heroin is?

Nichol: Mm hmm

JS: What was the first drug you ever did? Do you remember? The first time you ever used something?

Nichol: Like Marijuana?

JS: How old were you when you were smoking weed?

Nichol: 13.

JS: You started smoking weed when you were 13? Do you think that led to other drugs?

Nichol: I think somewhat, cause its like not a real strong high and you want something stronger.

JS: Why did you want something stronger? Why did you need something stronger?

Nichol: Ummm, I don’t know cause that kinda stuff like makes you fall asleep. And I think cause I started like smoking crack after I started smoking pot so I wanted to like stay up and be awake and I guess like party with my friends.

JS: Do you have the same friends you had then?

Nichol: No. I don’t really have any friends.

I just think that anybody, like everybody’s intentions out here are not to be friends, it’s that they want something from you. And when I get my money I need to support me, I can’t support other people.

I don’t really ask people for a lot, I get my money, Like I don’t like to, cause a lot of times you get people to take care of you, you have to lie to them. And then lead them on and make them think that your gonna get clean. And then, and then it ends up getting to be too much where they’re trying to control what you do.  And I’d rather just get the money and end it at that with no strings attached cause I don’t need someone following me around, trying to track me down like, trying to drop me off at rehabs and shit.

JS: So now you’re just out here working the Avenue.

Nichol: Yea

JS: What do you charge for a date?

Nichol: I usually don’t do anything for less than 40.

JS: And what would you say is your daily habit? How much?

Nichol: Um, like a bundle.

JS: How much is a bundle?

Nichol: Like, 14 bags.

JS: 14 bags.  A day?

Nichol:  Mm hmm.

Nichol:  I’m trying to get out of here now. I just want to like, have a normal life. Get an apartment and go to college and stuff like that.

JS: What do you think is stopping you?

Nichol: Cause, its not that easy to just stop.

I don’t know. I would just have to be ready. I’m not ready yet.

Like I know when I’m doing good I don’t mean to do it but in the back of my head like I, mess myself up, like I do something that you know is gonna put me back where I was at. And I don’t do it consciously but part of my brain is so used to this that it’s just easier to be out here than to try to fix it.

Like I’m from Bucks county. You can’t get drugs in Bucks County. Like, you can’t work in Bucks County. I mean you can but it wouldn’t be like this. So it’s just convenient.

I do the same thing everyday. Like um, like a lot of people would think something like this would be exciting but really this is probably like more repetitive than like getting up and going to work every day like in a normal like 9 to 5 job. It’s the same thing every single day.

Like I said I like I don’t like hangout with a lot of people. I don’t just go with anybody. You know like when I go get high I don’t go to abando’s and shit like that, I go to my house. So I don’t, I try to avoid situations where there would be violence.

I hope that I wont be out here long but I can’t predict the future. Like I want to get out of here, like I’m trying to but like I said it’s not that easy. If I could just snap my fingers and be somewhere else I would be but…

I’m just not ready yet. Anything, if I’m not ready I could go anywhere or do anything but until I’m ready I’m always gonna wind up back down here.

JS: What do you think it takes to be ready?

Nichol: It’s just something in you. Like you have to wake up one morning and just be done.

I don’t even think it’s the Heroin that has the hold. I don’t even think that it has anything to do with drugs like I said, its more of like comfort like you stay down here for so long, you get high for so long that you don’t need to do, like you don’t know anything else like, I don’t have no responsibilities, I don’t have to pay bills, like I’m in debt. Like I don’t have any money to like move out or go to school or you know even start paying bills or stuff like that. So down here I don’t, no body expects nothing of me.  I just, you know what I’m saying, I’m a junkie.  So all they expect for me to do is like bring my money home, get high and keep doing what I’m doing.

JS: Isn’t it such a hard life to sustain though?

Nichol: No. I think I have it 10 times easier than people who go to work, get up and go to work every day and have to worry about bills and taking care of kids and taxes and keeping a job and… I know that everytime I come out on the Avenue, even if it takes a little bit longer someone is gonna pick me up.  I’m gonna get money and I know even if a block’s not out with drugs then another one will be you know.

It never changes.

You could like, you could stay away for like 10 years and come back and the same places that you used to buy your drugs prolly, a lot of the same peoples would still be out here. Like whenever I went to jail for like a month, when I came home it was just like I never left.

JS: Do you have regulars? What are they like?

Nichol: They are normal people.

JS: Do you think its normal to pay women for sex?

Nichol: I mean, I don’t know if paying like… If you think about it anyway, any type of relationship you’re in with a woman, any type of a relationship a woman is in with a man, technically, they’re exchanging something for sex. Like whether it be love, whether it be gifts, whether it be money.

Yeah, like a lot of people don’t wanna go out and look for relationships, or they got divorced and they don’t, you don’t wanna put themselves out there like that so it’s easier for them to come out here, like people you never expect and pay me, and not have to worry about catching feelings and love, you don’t have to worry about getting hurt than it is for them to go to a bar and meet a girl and end up just getting hurt in the end.